Life, liberty, and…..scandals?

Opinion

November 15, 2012

Life, liberty, and…..scandals?

Clay Mercer Cordele Dispatch The Cordele Dispatch Thu Nov 15, 2012, 08:30 AM EST

Pinehurst — Normally when the word “scandals” appears in the headline for this column, I am about to review the recently aired dirty laundry of some politician who, for reasons unknown to his peers and constituents, drank a healthy draught from the fountain of stupidity and mayhem ensued.

Today I want to examine General (ret.) David Petraeus. General Petraeus retired as a four-star general, with the rank of plain General. You see, after Colonel, if you get promoted, you become a one-star general, a Brigadier General. Two-star generals are Major Generals, and three-star generals are Lieutenant Generals. If General Petraeus had earned a fifth star, his rank would have been General of the Army.

Thankfully, General Petraeus retired from military service before he could make a four-star jackass of himself. The bad news is that when he did decide to make a four-star jackass of himself, he was the director of the Central Intelligence Agency.

In uniform, General Petraeus painted quite a picture of the modern day warrior: He had more medals than Patton, more stars than Orion, and more wings than a covey of quail. There’s more. General Petraeus was both airborne and ranger qualified and possessed the Expert Combat Infantry Badge, meaning that he served in active combat, in the rank of colonel or lower and earned the CIB not once, but twice.

In a civilian suit, however, Dave Petraeus is a rather wormy looking guy with big ears and an open, trusting expression. It takes a second look to see the piercing blue eyes and the weathered brow on a long term soldier.

Unfortunately, while Dave was still in uniform, he met a woman named Paula Broadwell, who wrote his biography “All in: The Education of General David Petraeus.” It’s not clear when they began their affair, but it ended last summer.

So what? Stories like that are a dime a dozen. Yeah, well, that might have been the end of it, but Ms. Broadwell started sending harassing emails to a Ms. Jill Kelley, one of Dave’s long-time friends.

Since Jill didn’t know about Paula and Dave, she complained to a friend of hers who works at the FBI. Jill’s friend with the Feds uncovered the fact that Paula was behind the threats and that, in addition, had apparently hacked one of Dave’s email accounts, possibly one which he used to send and receive “sensitive” material connected with national security.

Thirty-six hours later, Dave is no longer the director of the Central Intelligence Agency.

I don’t know about you folks, but to me, this whole mess smells fishier than the kitchen exhaust fan at Daphne Lodge.

I get the fact that Paula’s a looker. Okay? She’s not just a looker, she cleans up right nice, too. What about Dave, though? Doesn’t it take two to tango? In fact, it does.

Maybe at the time all they were looking for was a little comfort and mutual understanding along with some self-esteem building. Yeah, let’s call it that.

It’s also possible that, after Paula got her walking papers from Dave, she went to the nearest Soviet Embassy reception and told Vladimir Rochakokov, or whoever, that “Hey, guess whose email account I hacked?” and then agreed to get Dave out of the CIA before Thanksgiving.

I really hate that this happened to ol’ Dave. Until then, I kinda liked the way things were going for him. I sincerely wish he would be able to prove himself the victim here, but to be honest, my Ouija Board is telling me not to bet the ranch on it.

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