Life, liberty, and….global warming?

Opinion

June 18, 2008

Anonymous The Cordele Dispatch Wed Jun 18, 2008, 07:51 PM EDT

By CLAY MERCER

This is supposed to be a happy column, a place for me to reflect, with my own demented approach, on those things in life we find pleasurable and those activities by which we pursue happiness. It’s not supposed to be a soapbox for me to stand on and preach to the world.

However, the global warming crowd is really beginning to irritate me. Maybe that’s an overstatement, but the way the global warming crowd is going, overstatements are the order of the day. If they can have theirs, then I get to have mine.

My personal irritation with the global warming alarmists, on a scale from one to ten, is about a two. They are slightly more irritating that say, forgetting to shave one morning, but still considerably less irritating than something important, like stubbing your toe in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom.

However, if the wacko left wing wants instant press, all they have to do is get the words ‘global warming’ in the headlines and suddenly they’re front-page news.

Basically the position of the global warming crowd is that the world is going to end and we’re all going to die. Some say in as little as five years, some say in ten years or so. The more conservative global warming nuts are saying that, over the next century, the ambient temperature of the earth’s atmosphere is going to rise by say, one degree.

Let’s take the low end first. When you get home tonight, adjust the thermostat in your house so that it will be one degree warmer. Unless there’s somebody in the house going through menopause, it’s really not going to be that catastrophic. None of your houseplants will wither and die, none of your pets will die from heat exhaustion, nobody’s going to croak.

Another thing about the global warming crowd is that they all seem to be really big on evolution. Darwin this and evolution that and throw another Christian to the lions. If they have so much faith in Darwinism and evolution, why don’t we ever hear them suggest that life on planet Earth will simply adjust, evolve, and adapt to the climate changes of the future? I’ll tell you why. It’s because they’re nuts.

As for the extreme global warming alarmists who think the world is going to end and we’re all going to die, well, so what? It says that in the Bible. Who looks like an idiot now?

Of course, the part about the world coming to an end is in the very back of the Bible, that part the global warming crowd never gets to because they’re busy making fun of the stories about Adam and Eve and Noah and all that stuff in the front of the Book.

It sure hurts to be an atheist, now, doesn’t it? It’s apparently a lot easier to believe that mankind can bring about the end of the world by cutting down trees and driving SUVs than believe that God’s going to do it because that’s what He planned all along.

Now, certainly, the world is coming to an end. While you’re looking in the Bible, check out that part where Jesus says you won’t know when it’s going to happen. Until it does, a little warm weather will be kinda nice for someone who likes to go fishing and drink beer.

Shall we gather at the river?

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