Opinion
Coping with various syndromes
By DON HOWELL
With some frequency drug manufactures sponsor commercials touting the results of their latest research and development. They go to great lengths to encourage the patient to demand that the doctor prescribe this latest wonder drug after the patient has performed his or her own diagnosis.
Most notably of late is a drug for restless leg syndrome. This medication is supposed to stop your legs from moving. To me, this sounds a little dangerous. Suppose nature calls around three a.m. and you have just dosed on the medication for rls. Could be a little embarrassing but I stray.
I keep hoping that someone will come up with a medication for some of my syndromes. Since I retired I need something for rrs. That is "restless rear syndrome." It strikes me around 11:50 a.m. on Sunday morning when the preacher is getting into his sermon. If I'm not preaching I have a tendency to start squirming and wiggling.
When I mentioned this to Sandy, she said, "now you know what the rest of us have been going through for the past forty-three years."
I also have dns which is daily nap syndrome. For some unexplainable reason I get the urge to take a nap around 12:45 p.m. I'm not sure I want a medication for this syndrome because it is not all together unpleasant and I can lie perfectly still in the absence of rrs.
There is another more sinister syndrome. It is eia syndrome, or "eat it all." I don't care what it is; I want to "eat it all." If Sandy brings in a Hershey's chocolate silk pie I am smitten with this undeniable urge to "eat it all."
I have also noticed this syndrome when she brings in Edwards Lemon pie or when she prepares strawberry shortcake. In the interest of science and for the betterment of mankind, I believe I will experiment with other foods, desserts in particular. I suspect there would be symptoms of eia upon an encounter with Little Debbies, Twinkies, Snicker bars, chocolate cake or Leann's oatmeal cookies. I won't know until I try.
There are other syndromes such as dsd which is "don't shave daily," and, fas which is "fiddle around syndrome." There is also dcg which is "don't cut grass" and iddw which is "I don't do windows."
So now you know. I have enough idiosyncrasies and syndromes to keep some enterprising drug company in business for a long time. As of the present, there are no medications for my special problems so I just suppose I'll have to suffer on.
So all you drug companies, get with the program. Just don't get in too big a hurry. I'm making out pretty well and I believe I can hang on for a few more months.
- Opinion
-
-
Implausible chickrabs
You will not believe it! Shoot, I wouldn’t believe it myself had I not observed the sight with my own eyes.
Yesterday was hot. I mean really hot with the humidity high and the temperature within a couple of degrees of 100 even after 8 p.m. when I began my daily run through the woods and fields of the backside. -
Support projects
Editor:
In January of this year my wife and I moved from Cordele to Rome. We still have many friends in Cordele and consider it home. -
Share thoughts about war in Iraq
Now that combat troops have pulled out of Iraq, the Cordele Dispatch would like to hear how readers feel about the conflict. If you are from the Crisp, Dooly, Wilcox area and you served any time in that country, would you share your experiences and tell us if you think the country will succeed as a democratic nation?
-
Legislating morality: everybody is doing it
Without fail, when conservatives take a position on a moral concern, liberals will angrily assert, “You can’t legislate morality!”
-
Taking my own advice
If you’re like me, you probably enjoy handing out advice, both solicited and unsolicited. After all, those of us who have vast life experiences owe it to those with less experience to share our wisdom.
-
The most valuable gift
The Jewish Temple had many gates. One of them was called “Beautiful.”
Here a certain lame man sat each day because it was a well traveled area with people entering and exiting the temple constantly. Perhaps a kind soul would show mercy and drop a coin or two for him. -
Readers comment on 24th Ave.-Frontage Rd. traffic jam
Fortunately, I no longer have children attending CCHS that have to deal with this problem. I however think there could have been a better way of handling the road construction without completely closing the road.
-
Finding faith in the storm
"Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you," Exodus 23:25 (NIV)
-
Sisters offer thanks
In the early morning of July 31, 2010 at 3:15 a.m. our mom, Patricia Neuman’s home was engulfed by flames.
-
Citizen speaks on road abandonment
Dear Editor
Mars Hill Baptist Church community has many memories as the church was established in 1894.
- More Opinion Headlines
-
Implausible chickrabs
