Recently, my first-born prize egg inquired of my second-born prize egg, “You realize we’ve been replaced, don’t you?”
My second-born prize egg looked a little worried. “What do you mean by that?” she asked cautiously.
With just a hint of wickedness in her voice, the first-born snickered, “By Little Man and Dolly.”
Little Man and Dolly are my two precious Pomeranians. I’ll admit they’re adorable. But replace the prize eggs? Never.
Allow me to explain a little something about the first-born. A drama queen from birth, she’d just as soon blow things out of proportion as breathe. We automatically know that anything she says has been embellished to at least the 9th power.
Consequently, while I’d never suggest that she likes to make trouble, she does enjoy a little wind-tunnel disturbance from time to time. Mr. Man (my hubby) says she inherited all these wonderful personality traits from moi.
My second-born is without a doubt just the opposite of her older sister. Disliking controversy in any form, she prefers that all things remain consistent and stable, with no feather ruffling along the way.
And here’s another thing about the prize eggs. The first-born came to earth wearing a pair of the most powerful antennae known to man on top of her pretty head. She probably picks up signals from Mars. No, make that Pluto.
If we’re thinking about it, she knows it. Sometimes she knows it even if we’re not thinking about it, which can lead to one of those disturbances I told you she enjoys.
The second-born sports only a tiny pair of antennae, and for the most part is oblivious to what we’re thinking. Or so it seems. Sometimes we’ll find out much later that she’s been thinking about what we’re thinking, but we didn’t know it because she kept her thoughts secret. Which can also lead to one of those disturbances.
As you can see, the skeptical first-born never dares to be caught without her magnifying glasses for fear she might miss something important, while the second-born has a nice big pair of rose-colored shades perched firmly on the tip of her nose.
Here’s a case in point. One day many years ago, I sat at my desk in Albany working. About five miles away, the Lowe’s chemical warehouse exploded into a towering inferno, and authorities evacuated nearby residents.
Numero uno phoned me frantically several times throughout the day, begging me to leave work immediately. “But I’m in no danger – the fire is several miles from here,” I stoically replied.
Later in the afternoon, as the fire continued to roar out of control, she called for the last time. “Okay, get your “blankety-blank” home, your baby set the house on fire!” Talk about an ironic turn of events.
Turns out that numero deuce, blissfully unaware of the catastrophe unfolding in Albany, had come home from school hungry. Her usual can of tuna was not in the pantry because I’d fed it to the cat that morning, so she decided to fry an egg. Trouble was, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to watch the egg fry, or watch Oprah. The kitchen went up in flames.
With an “I told you so” look on her face, prize egg number one was inconsolable, but prize egg number two was as calm as could be. Smiling sweetly, she asked, “Well, you’ve been wanting new wallpaper in the kitchen, haven’t you?”
Opinion
The prize eggs
- Opinion
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Visitors enjoyed trip to Cordele
Editor:
I was in town (Cordele) last weekend for my husband’s 40th high school reunion, and it was interesting to see the interactions taking place among fellow classmates.
These students grew up in the 50’s and 60’s in Cordele and I heard many of them reminisce about the wonderful environment in which they grew up. It was a time when children could roam free, parents knew one another and they looked out for each other ‘s children. -
Implausible chickrabs
You will not believe it! Shoot, I wouldn’t believe it myself had I not observed the sight with my own eyes.
Yesterday was hot. I mean really hot with the humidity high and the temperature within a couple of degrees of 100 even after 8 p.m. when I began my daily run through the woods and fields of the backside. -
Support projects
Editor:
In January of this year my wife and I moved from Cordele to Rome. We still have many friends in Cordele and consider it home. -
Share thoughts about war in Iraq
Now that combat troops have pulled out of Iraq, the Cordele Dispatch would like to hear how readers feel about the conflict. If you are from the Crisp, Dooly, Wilcox area and you served any time in that country, would you share your experiences and tell us if you think the country will succeed as a democratic nation?
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Legislating morality: everybody is doing it
Without fail, when conservatives take a position on a moral concern, liberals will angrily assert, “You can’t legislate morality!”
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Taking my own advice
If you’re like me, you probably enjoy handing out advice, both solicited and unsolicited. After all, those of us who have vast life experiences owe it to those with less experience to share our wisdom.
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The most valuable gift
The Jewish Temple had many gates. One of them was called “Beautiful.”
Here a certain lame man sat each day because it was a well traveled area with people entering and exiting the temple constantly. Perhaps a kind soul would show mercy and drop a coin or two for him. -
Readers comment on 24th Ave.-Frontage Rd. traffic jam
Fortunately, I no longer have children attending CCHS that have to deal with this problem. I however think there could have been a better way of handling the road construction without completely closing the road.
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Finding faith in the storm
"Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you," Exodus 23:25 (NIV)
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Sisters offer thanks
In the early morning of July 31, 2010 at 3:15 a.m. our mom, Patricia Neuman’s home was engulfed by flames.
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Visitors enjoyed trip to Cordele
